


Unremarkable

by HyperKid



Series: Trans Caleb AU [12]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Angst, Fluff, Gen, Introspection, Offscreen character death, Rated for nudity, Trans Male Character, aftermath of Molly death, trans!Caleb Widogast, xenodick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid
Summary: There’s a whole lot more on anybodies minds than gender when the Mighty Nein return from Shadycreek Run. But their first time in the bath with Caduceus Clay does reveal some... curiosity.
Relationships: Background PolyNein
Series: Trans Caleb AU [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1341280
Comments: 2
Kudos: 98





	Unremarkable

**Author's Note:**

> HK: I can’t fucking believe I forgot Caduceus.   
> Mollymauk: To be fair, all the rest of us were within days, timeline wise.   
> HK: Yeah, but... I dunno, I just feel bad I forgot him?   
> Mollymauk: Could you imagine him giving a fuck?   
> HK: No but I can’t imagine you giving a fuck either.   
> Mollymauk: Well, you just overlooked everyone’s favourite big soft furboy then.   
> HK: I did! Shame on me.   
> Mollymauk: Shame on everyone for not oggling him properly.   
> HK: Now that’s the truth. There is another proper one of these coming up to deal with that handy new Transmogrification spell, and probably also more smut. No regrets! 
> 
> WARNINGS!! Caleb perspective, after Molly’s death, so many, many big sads and some guilt? And everyone’s naked because that is how you bath 
> 
> Disclaimer: *hangs head in shame* I must abandon my quest to kidnap ownership of the Mighty Nein until such a time as I can look after them all responsibly. I forgot Caduceus.

By the time they walked into the bath house for the first time with Caduceus Clay, all Caleb could think about was how wrong it was that Molly wasn’t with them. The bath house was Molly’s thing, his excuse to get them all naked and boiling for his pleasure, his excuse to so gently tease every last one of them. 

What Caduceus might think of Caleb’s body wasn’t even remotely on his mind. It just didn’t register next to the pounding ache in his chest. 

But... it felt right. The perfect way to honour their friend, his memory, and what he had meant to all of them. He could see it in Fjord’s eyes while the half orc paid at the counter. In the way Jester’s steps were flat and even as she lead the way, not a hint of bounce in her. In the tension in Beau’s shoulders, the resolute line of Nott’s as they filed into changing rooms. 

Caduceus didn’t seem to have noticed, but then he’d only known them a week. 

Caleb undressed mechanically, folding his clothes with all the weight of a ritual. It might as well have been, the number of times Molly had happily dragged him into the bath. 

The room was dead silent where it should have been filled with a soft, lilting voice. Fjord and Caleb didn’t so much as glance at each other, neither wanting to see that knowledge in the other’s face. The firbolg took his cue from them, as he did with everything in this new, overwhelming city. 

It wasn’t until they were walking into the bathing hall that it occurred to Caleb that Caduceus might have expected to see anything under his trousers. Hells, that it even registered that none of them had seen Caduceus naked. 

He could hear the ghost of Molly chastising him as he glanced over, cheeks flushed but not sure why. He felt almost... embarrassed that it had taken him so long? That he hadn’t thought to look, when Molly most assuredly would have oggled. 

Would have made an easy comment, a compliment, a flirtatious offer to set them all at ease. 

Caduceus looked at ease anyway, like he walked around stark naked in a room full of strangers every day. Caleb’s gaze tracked down the length of his torso, past the thicker patch of hair to between his legs and... not much of anything, really. It was a little bit of a surprise, though Caleb supposed it shouldn’t have been. 

He didn’t know much of anything about firbolg genitals, certainly not enough to have any proper expectations, but that unbroken line of fur looked... almost unfinished. Like there was nothing there at all. 

No, not quite nothing. There was a suggestion of a bulge, almost camouflaged by the way the fur grew thicker in what must have been a treasure trail. It wasn’t pink, which was a bit of a surprise. Just a shade lighter grey. 

Well, he couldn’t imagine Caduceus would know much if anything more about human genitals than he did about firbolg. He’d barely bothered to glance at any of them even as they joined up with the women in one of the large pools. 

Jester waved them down exuberantly, almost her normal self with the hot water splashing around her, sending other patrons scattering to other baths. 

“Ooooooooover here! Hello! Come on Caduceus, you have to try this!” She called happily. 

Having even an ounce more experience than someone else must have been exciting for her. Getting to be the one who lead the way, who showed things for Caduceus to learn. She took to it eagerly. 

Caleb had to wonder if it was a distraction. For herself, for the rest of them, just making sure no one knew how close she was to falling apart. They had all come closer than ever before. 

He slipped into the water quietly, submerging himself to his nose as he usually did. Anything to keep people from looking at him. The fact that it let the hot water soothe his muscles was mostly coincidence. He did have to rise enough to watch Caduceus get in though, a slight smile on his face. 

The firbolg was so ridiculously, disproportionately large. Even skinny as he was he loomed a full foot taller than Fjord, taller than Yasha. His head brushed door frames in smaller buildings. 

Water that was waist high on half the Nein came maybe halfway up his thighs. Which left his groin at eye level for those already sat down. 

Caleb would have expected Jester to comment, curious as she usually was when bodies and nudity came up. It probably shouldn’t have been a surprise when she barely batted a lash; if anyone would have known what to expect from a naked firbolg, it had to be her. 

Having already had his peek, Caleb watched the faces of his friends as Caduceus settled back into the water. Beau’s distaste had faded to confusion when she noticed that there really was nothing on display. Nott didn’t seem to have noticed at all, busy avoiding getting into the water at all costs. 

Fjord, who’d definitely taken time to look, had that slightly strained expression that Caleb knew meant he was holding himself back from asking. 

He had the only visible dangler, and the thought almost made Caleb smile. Molly’d have teased him endlessly... hell, Molly had teased him endlessly from that first bath on. 

It all seemed to circle back to Molly. Molly who should have been there, should have suggested the bath, would have ~completely unabashedly~ asked Caduceus to explain his genital situation. Assuming he hadn’t known what Jester did, of course. 

Somehow asking her rather than Caduceus himself seemed both less and more tactful. He really didn’t want to spend so long thinking about his friends’ genitalia... unless he was also going to get some use out of them. 

But that’d be for a later time he decided firmly. Caduceus was lovely, kind and reassuring and patient, and he’d proved himself a valuable companion. And yes, maybe his size did something for Caleb, and he could easily imagine himself being held down by large hands. 

But that was no guarantee they’d be remotely compatible. 

It was enough of a shock that any of the Nein wanted a scrawny little asshole like Caleb. He certainly wasn’t going to presume he’d be Caduceus’ type. 

Honestly he was a little relieved to have an excuse to just dismiss the whole issue from his mind. If he asked, he would have to be prepared for Caduceus to ask in return. It wasn’t as though his situation was anything shameful or even unique in the empire, but Caleb had no idea what the norms were in Shadycreek Run. 

It was a very small town, and in his Grove Caduceus had been isolated from even that. They’d already had to explain alcohol to the firbolg. 

None of which quite stopped the ghost of Molly’s voice in the back of his head from insisting he would have climbed Caduceus like a tree. It was maybe the first thought he’d had about Molly that made him want to smile through the hollow ache in his chest. 

There was no denying that it’d have been Molly’s first reaction the second no one was in danger. He’d always loved the unique, and new experiences. His reaction when Jester had casually mentioned a minotaur had proved that. 

Caleb let himself sink back to his nose in the water, keeping an ear out for his name, but not really bothering to keep up with the conversations around him. 

Jester was happily plotting out every single day for the rest of their lives with things she wanted to show Caduceus, in Zadash and out. Even Nott had been roped in as they all agreed that Caduceus would have to meet Pumat Sol. Pumats Sol? Pumat Sols? 

They’d have to go back to the Invulnerable Vagrant at least once just to get the correct plural. 

Of course, the Nein were very tight lipped as to why this was such an exciting prospect. It was just so much fun to watch people experience the place for the first time. Just having a shop full of magical items was reason enough to be excited about, but Caleb made a note to make sure he came along. 

As if he’d ever have missed a chance to visit the Invulnerable Vagrant. 

They’d been gone a week or so; it was possible Pumat Prime would have finished something new. And even if he hadn’t yet, they were due for a week or so more of relaxation, enjoying their money and... 

Yeah. 

Mourning. 

It was going to be one hell of a week. Caleb forced himself to focus on the hot water around him, rising enough for it to leave his ears. To rejoin the conversation, to stop himself from being drowned under the weight of his thoughts. 

Had it been worth it? A trade, Molly’s life for Fjord and Jester’s? 

He couldn’t even begin to think of it that way. Not least because Molly himself sure as fuck would have said it was, wouldn’t have let them hesitate for a moment. It was what he’d done. 

Rushed headlong into danger to save his friends, to protect them, and hadn’t they always known that adventuring life was dangerous? They’d known going in what they were risking by fighting the Iron Shepherds. Without a cleric by their side, barely a healing potion to their name, four against a larger, more prepared, heavily armed group. 

Caleb had considered leaving the night before. 

Considered taking Nott and running, from the protection of a group whose strength had been so effortlessly halved. The fact that it had been a question more than just an action had been telling in itself, though. Because... of all the things Caleb was, a coward, a murderer, a traitor... 

He found he couldn’t turn his back when his friends needed him. 

Not again. 

And now here they were, almost all, almost whole, Fjord perhaps a little more restrained for the experience. Jester perhaps the opposite, a little over-bright. Sunshine and lollipops, keeping them together and smiling the way Fjord said she’d done in captivity. 

How could he have ever risked losing her spark? Losing Fjord’s... well, everything? His level head, his worldly experience, possibly more than the entire rest of the Nein had between them. His kindness and his watchfulness. 

No, Caleb couldn’t wish either of them away in exchange for Molly at his side. Not even Yasha, who they so rarely saw in any case. If Yasha was in danger, Molly would have been with her. 

Fuck, Caleb himself would too, as little as they knew each other. He could see a lot of himself in her, in her awkwardness, her quiet, the weight she carried behind her eyes in every moment except when Molly had pulled her into something stupid. Into his bullshit. 

They were a lot alike. 

If there was half a chance he could keep her from the same pain that haunted him, he’d easily step into the fire. Too late, probably. Almost certainly. 

But he hoped that she would come back to them in time. That she hadn’t only found her way by finding Molly. That she knew they still cared for her. That she still had a family. 

He’d like to see what she made of Caduceus Clay, for one thing. 

Hours passed as the group chatted, scrubbed the road from their bodies, and relaxed. And if Jester still scrubbed till her skin went from blue to purple to almost red, past the point that must have hurt, no one said anything. If Fjord sank to the bottom of the tub for almost five full minutes rinsing his hair, no one commented. 

They had more than most to wash away. 

As they got out, though, Caduceus gently let his hand brush Jester’s hair, a spark of magic in the contact that soothed the lingering scratches. She startled in surprise but didn’t say anything, giving the firbolg a look that ranged from curious to grateful. 

Not much they could do for Fjord without talking to him, and that was a conversation the half orc would have to start himself. There was no way Caleb was comfortable raising that topic, and if he didn’t certainly no one else would. 

None of them were really the sort to talk about their own problems, apparently not even Caduceus Clay. It was no wonder he fit right in to their little disaster. 

The thought pulled a faint smile to Caleb’s lips as he wrapped his arms in cleaned bandages. Not exactly a compliment, certainly. Not a thought Caleb would share just yet. Maybe once they all knew each other a little better. 

But if Caduceus was as quietly, happily accepting in everything as he was tonight, they would get along very well. 

**Author's Note:**

> HK: It feels really, really good to start a silly little idea and knock it out in a couple days. I spent so long chasing ship weeks and then working on old shit and I’ve just... missed this.


End file.
